Here he is: Charlie William Hobbo. He was born in King's College Hospital at 3.19am on 20th June 2011, weighing 6lb 6oz and feeling like 697lb 48oz.
I won't go through the full labour story here, mainly because I can barely bear to go through it in my own head. Let's just say highlights included being rushed to hospital in an ambulance, and then having to wait to actually go into A&E while the paramedic standing in the entrance finished his fag.
Then there was the delivery room. When I was wheeled in it was lit with a weird green light and the stereo in the corner was playing Livin' on a Prayer. For a moment I thought I was giving birth inside an Xbox 360. In 1987.
They say there is no way you can truly prepare for childbirth, and they are not ****ing kidding. I have no real words of wisdom, just one top tip to offer:
Wearing a sombrero during childbirth may seem like an hilarious idea two weeks before the event. By the time you're 5cm dilated, it won't.
It was all worth it, of course.
I wish I could be all sardonic and cynical about it but the thing is, Charlie is the most brilliant thing that's ever happened to me. Yes, even counting that episode with Simon from Blue.
I don't know what's going to happen to this blog now. I'd like to keep updating it when I have time. So expect more news in 2029.
In the meantime, you can keep up with Charlie's adventures via his Tumblr thingy.
Thanks for reading!