I have long had a theory about small children. This came out of observing how they can be charmingly boisterous or irritatingly obnoxious, and are highly likely to exhibit inappropriate behaviour at any given moment.
I also noticed that looking after them involves making sure they don't fall over, distracting them when they attempt to start fights, and ensuring they don't choke on their own sick.
In other words: small children are just miniature drunk people.
So basically, the next few years of my life are going to be like being the sober one at a New Year's Eve party. As well as a human beer keg.
Thanks to Cat for pointing me in the direction of this video, which pretty much proves my point.